All day I

ELMS by Louise Glück

All day I tried to distinguish
need from desire. Now, in the dark,
I feel only bitter sadness for us,
the builders, the planers of wood,
because I have been looking
steadily at these elms
and seen the process that creates
the writhing, stationary tree
is torment, and have understood
it will make no forms but twisted forms.

tell me

-

Tell Me How Long the Train's Been Gone

After You'd Gone by Maggie O'Farrell

You Remind Me of Me by Dan Chaon

You're Not You by Michelle Wildgren

these are the kind of titles I like. what kind? simple. statements. implorative~ ah: from me to you. spoken to you. du.

if the weather is what happens
there will be movement for you and I

unbearable, really

"It is unacceptable, all the stunned and anxious missing a person is asked to endure in life. It is not to be endured, not really.

excerpt from Who Will Run the Frog Hospital? - Lorrie Moore- Ploughshares

what you want

What do you want me to do, stand on my goddamn head?
Please. Stand on your goddamn head.

	on Page 21: Lorrie Moore, Self-Help. 'How to be an other woman.'
	"... Stand on my goddamned head?" Whisper: "Please. Stand on your goddamned head." "It is ten o'clock," he says. "I'm coming over. ..."

waits before trainsong

All right. Actually I get asked... Well... look, I think the question I get asked the most is... I mean, it happens a lot. Enough that I would remark on it.

my, my, my, my, my

We shall walk and talk
in gardens all misty wet with rain.
And I will never, never, never grow so old again

Oh sweet thing, sweet thing.
My, my, my, my, my sweet thing.
And I will raise my hand up
into the night cloud's sky.

I will never grow so old again.

And I'm younger now - (history my dear friend. years away you say my name, I'm settled down and I won't give up again.) richard buckner
I keep that song it keeps in mind. younger now. settled down. won't give up again.

and I like rain, I like walking in it and talking, I like night.

on that bleak track

She was crying and crying for a girl who died so many years before whom in any normal world she ought never to have known ~ ~

cannot find the passage quoted online only the bit made a lyric by the Cure. in 1981 - odd that I only now learn of the Cure song? it was the book itself I loved and I cried and cried myself at this.

another thing coming

If you think I'm not getting a milkshake,
you've got

punchpunchhug - first the rassle, then the love

could -

_

I aint much of a lover, it's true
I'm here then I'm gone and I'm for ever blue
but I'm sure it wasnt you

I wont tell you lies
I dont believe its wise
you got pretty eyes

if we help each other grow
while the light of day - shines down our way
well we can't go wrong

if I had no place to fall
and I needed to-

could I count on you -

if I

had your love forever, - - sail into the light of day

heard her sing in tongues of silver
I heard her cry on a summer storm
I loved her, but she did not know it
so I don't think about her anymore
Now she's gone, and I can't believe it
so I don't think about her anymore

If I had a buckskin stallion I'd tame him down and ride away.
and if I had a boat I'd go out on the ocean and if I had a pony I'd ride him on my boat and we could all together go out on the ocean say me up on my pony on my boat
If I had a flyin' schooner I'd sail into the light of day
If I had your love foreversail into the light of day

Pretty songs and pretty places
places that I've never seen
pretty songs and pretty faces
tell me what their laughter means

Townes Van Zandt -Buckskin Stallion Blues ...

I believe every thing you're saying

_
Here's to you old skinny Dennis - only one I think I will miss
I can hear that old bass singing Got to give it all we can now

I believe every thing you're saying

just keep on, keep on playing.

unremembered

today going under the shower was like swimming and wooden steps were like of a beach house.

I've heard that story

_
You always were a problem
for me Joey
When mom brought you home from the hospital
I tried to strangle you in your crib

I guess all kids try to do
that


*ViggoMortenson (Joey) with brother, in movie AHistoryofViolence.

seems like a long time ago

had it bad for something

, Good for Nothing~,

sonny's

_
yearbook from high school is down from the shelf - and he idly thumbs through the pages
_
Sunny came home to her favorite roomSunny sat down in the kitchenShe opened a book and a box of toolsSunny came home with a mission
Sunny came home with a list of namesShe didn't believe in transcendenceIt's time for a few small repairs she said Sunny came home with a vengeance

son,

__
I've made my life - from reading people's faces - and knowin what their cards were - by the way they held their hand. - so if you don't mind my sayin - I can see you're out of Aces
__
can you play me a melody - I'm not really sure how it goes. - but it's sad and sweet - and I knew it complete - when I wore a younger man's clothes

you to me - her to him

-
I considered what was between them, what they felt, what they blocked. There's always something between people.
-

Hamann Page 177

I see

photos everywhere.

sorry love --- photos were always about taking.

kiki

ariadne kieriaki
little blond girl, wearing koublaiki~ beads round her neck, with her lovely lively quick-speaking greek darkhaired mother, met yesterday morning outside of shoe repair store of greek 'papou' who introduced us "kai aftee ena ellina." little one called him dad-a, mother says she calls all men that and all women mom-a. asked what I was, she said "... Bab-ee."
yes i do have a lot of baby in me, glad you could see that.
mother: see they have Insight.

..."kai emas herake poli."